"Mm, no, not since last weekend," she says, falling into step beside Kili and then falling silent for a moment as she thinks about it. There are very few people she feels she can talk to about this, but Kili is one of them, and she knows no matter what she says now, he isn't going to judge her for it. She's not hesitating because she's afraid to tell him about what happened, but because she still isn't entirely sure. It feels too complicated for words and then somehow too simple all at once. There's nothing either of them can do to change anything, the situation simply is what it is and tonight she feels very ready to let go of it all.

"He found out he'd been here before," she tells Kili. "I didn't tell him, I didn't know how, and I knew someone else was going to tell him at some point. That they'd see him and he wouldn't know 'em and the whole thing would come out and it did." She shrugs thoughtfully. "I feel sort of bad that I'm so relieved it wasn't me, but I am. I didn't know how to say it, I didn't wanna be the one to do it, but he knows now. He's mad I didn't tell him and I guess I don't blame him. More than he's mad, though, I think he's scared and I definitely don't blame him for that."

But she's tired of worrying, she's tired of being sad. She's compartmentalized before, she's had to in order to survive and she thinks she can do it again now. As far as she can tell at the moment, it's her best option.