August 12

[a_littlefaith]

It's been over two months since she realized she was dead. Almost eight weeks since Daryl disappeared. A little over four weeks since he had come back and she'd realized he was another person entirely, not the man she had been set to marry. It's a lot to have happen to anyone in a two month period and for a time she'd felt completely lost, faltering in a way she hadn't liked. It had just seemed easier to crawl into bed and pull the blankets over her head so she wouldn't have to face the world or maybe to take after her father and drink herself into a state where she wouldn't have to care about any of it.

In the end, it's Maggie's example she'd decided to follow. One morning about two weeks ago, she had taken off the moonstone ring Daryl had given her, taken it off for good, and placed it back in the box it had come in. Then she had carefully, lovingly tucked the box in the drawer beside her bed and closed it away. It's what Maggie would have done. It isn't giving up, because Maggie never would have done that, but it's accepting the reality of what is instead of what used to be. Nothing she can do will change the Daryl who's here into the Daryl who left, she has to accept that.

Her sister would have told Beth to look after herself, not to forget about her own needs, so she'd put the ring away, knowing it's the fairest thing she can do for herself and for Daryl. Until she can talk to him about what they used to be, having that reminder of what had come before doesn't do anyone any good. So she takes the ring off and she tries to get back to normal.

Friday night rolls around and she has a gig at a small bar, about thirty minutes worth of material she's written in the past several months. None of the songs are about Daryl, she's been very careful about that, but she likes what she's written. Maybe some of this pain is worth it if it gives her good song writing material. When she sings she feels a little less childlike, a little more like an adult, and she has to wonder how much these past few months have forced her into growing up.

It's scary to think she hadn't felt this much like an adult before and it's sad to think that's what pain does to a person.

But she's smiling by the time she wraps up and her heart feels lighter than it has in some time. Her curls are clinging to her cheeks and her forehead and the back of her neck, the bar hot and damp, the night air warmer still, and as she heads away from the bar -- maybe she'll go home or maybe it's time for a weekend visit to one of her friends -- she finds she actually feels good. Not better, not normal, but good.

[I set it up to let people find her in a variety of places, whatever works best. Out on the street, in the bar where she's playing, at her apartment or their apartment if they'd want her to come visit.]

Comments

[a_littlefaith]

It does hurt, just a little, but she'd expected it and she knows what to do. Closing her eyes, she tilts her hips a little, allowing the muscles in her thighs and her pelvis to relax so the pain lessens and it's only a moment or two before that burning sensation curls in on itself and turns into something else entirely. A good kind of heat, the sort she knows will build and build until she can't take it anymore.

Her back arches, the leg around him tightens and she presses up toward him, opening her eyes, wanting to see him, to see how he looks as he slides into her.

"Chuck," she groans, rolling her hips, a soft little hiss escaping her at another sudden flare of pain that melts into pleasure almost immediately. "Oh... my God... I..." But she has no idea what she wants to say, how to explain how good he feels.

[hadtheshot]

Chuck stays still for a moment once he's slid into her, breathing in deep, ducking his head to press a kiss to the curve of her neck. She really is fucking stunning, and the way she moves under him just makes him that much more eager, but he doesn't want to do too much, too fast, and anyway, it's practically overwhelming. It isn't like it's been that long since he last had someone in his bed — there are some perks to having a houseguest — but it's never been Beth before, and this whole turn of events is a lot to try to process. He doesn't really think there's that much point in trying to do so now, anyway.

Finally, he rocks his hips forward against her, fingers still pressing into her thigh where her leg is wrapped around him, moving slowly, steadily, trying to will his breathing to do the same thing. That's all but useless, though, as he suspects drawing this out will be before very long at all. Even inside her, he wants her so badly he can hardly stand it, and though he fully intends to follow her lead, he doubts he'll be able to hold back entirely for much longer.

[a_littlefaith]

Suddenly he's deeper inside of her and a soft little gasp slips out of Beth followed by a low sound of pleasure and she lifts her hips up toward Chuck in response, trying to get that again, to encourage him. Earlier she had worried what he might think if he knew what she liked, if he knew a little bit of pain only made her feel better, if he knew she loved when marks were left behind, but she isn't thinking about that now.

All she wants is for him to know he doesn't need to treat her like she's breakable. Somehow she feels like she can trust him to understand that.

"Chuck," she groans and shifts her hips up, changing the angle. The fingers he has pressing into her skin are perfect and she drags her nails down his back, not enough to really hurt, but hard enough that he can feel them. "God, you can... more..." As much as she wants to tell him, it's hard to communicate verbally at the moment and she laughs breathlessly, a sound that melts back into pleasure.

[hadtheshot]

He almost asks her what she means. It's such a vague sentence, just a fragment of one, and when they've never done this before, Chuck doesn't want to take the wrong impression from it and risk this turning into something she doesn't like or want. Between the choice of words, though, and the way her nails drag down his back, he finds that it isn't too difficult to guess at her meaning. More generally speaks for itself, and it isn't something he needs to be told twice.

Nodding absently, he kisses her again, and this time, he thrusts into her a little harder, gradually starting to pick up speed as he goes. Already, the way she sounds, the way she feels — maybe it isn't so different from others he's been with, but at the same time, it is. This doesn't have to be about anything more than just sex for that to be the case. Beth is maybe the last person he ever thought would be in his bed, at least after she ended things, but here they both are, and it feels so fucking good.