a_littlefaith | (no subject)

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jason

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Beth doesn't really know what the plan is today, but she's not worried about it either. Whatever they end up doing, she knows she and Jason will have fun. They always do when they get together, and she's looking forward to being able to try climbing another rock.

This time around, she dresses more carefully for the excursion. She wears shoes that are tighter and a little smaller, better for climbing the rock face. She's wearing a pair of exercise tights and a tank top, because she knows it's going to be warm, and Beth isn't usually one for working out a lot, but she'd bought these clothes just for this. She wants to be prepared. She wants Jason to be proud of her.

All she knows for sure is that she's meant to meet him at his place and they'll go from there. She has a water bottle, a little backpack with some snacks, and she's purposely not letting herself think about what they might do after they climb a rock.

Because she very clearly remembers their conversation at the beach that day. They haven't talked about it since then, but she's pretty sure they had both been talking about two things at once and she's excited. Nervous and excited both. Maybe tonight won't be the night, but maybe it will. She's not going to get ahead of herself, but she's not going to count it out either.

"Hey," she calls out when she's close, expecting him to probably be out in his garden. "Jason?"

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Beth knows what she wants and she's pretty sure Jason wants it, too, but she also knows she didn't bring a blanket or anything and she certainly hadn't thought to bring a condom with her on a rock climbing expedition, so she can't really suggest that. Not yet anyway.

Curling her fingers under, her nails scrape lightly at his chest and she says, "Maybe we should climb down. Go somewhere else."

Right now she doesn't care where. Somewhere they can be really alone together, even though they're alone up here, too.

"Okay."

He says it quietly but genuinely because yes, that sounds like the best next step. This rock was nice but it wouldn't be comfortable if things escalated like they seemed to be doing. Jason pushes himself up onto his hands, blinking away some of the haze she'd caused and nods.

"We can go somewhere else. Climbing down's easier than going up and then we can find somewhere else to be."

She kisses him again, a little more firmly this time, taking care to make it last, then she pulls back and reluctantly climbs from his lap. This isn't really what she wants, not her body, anyway. Her body wants to stat right here on top of Jason.

Her brain knows that's probably not the best way to do this. Not for the first time. If that's what this is.

"C'mon," she says, standing and offering her hand to him. "My place is probably empty." Carl will be out and Judith is with a sitter, which means they're free for at least a little while longer.

"All right," Jason says, getting to his feet and moving them towards the edge of the rock. "Remember how to get down?"

It was much, much easier than going up. He got himself turned and started rappelling down the side of the rock, bouncing off the face until his feet hit the ground and he could wait for her.

"Come on," he said, holding his hands up. "I'll make sure you get down safe."

Going down is easier than going up. And she's motivated this time in a way she hadn't been going up, even if she's not going to tell Jason that's the case. He's not stupid, he'll probably be able to figure it out on his own, especially as she comes down rather quickly, though she takes care to be safe.

"Hi," she says when she's on the ground again, turning to face him with a smile. "I'm here."

And she wants to get out of all this equipment and back to her place as soon as they can. She starts to unbuckle and unhook things, turning so Jason can help her when she needs it.

Jason takes off his own gear and then helps with hers, stowing it in the appropriate bags before hefting them over his shoulders and nodding.

"Lead the way," he says. There's never that much gear when they go so he's comfortable with carrying it all. It's not a long walk so it's not going to be any kind of strain. Now, it's just a matter of getting to where they need to be quick.

Beth doesn't want to look like she's hurrying, but the truth is, she's hurrying. Walking a little quicker than before, leading the way to her place, her fingers threaded with Jason's. She's not pulling him along, but he has to be able to feel the tension in her hand where she's holding onto him.

She steals a glance over at him, hiding a grin, but doesn't say much until they're close to her place. At a moment like this, trying to talk about anything other than what's on their minds seems kind of pointless and she's not comfortable with talking openly in public about what they might or might not do with the rest of their day.

By the time she's getting out her keys, she's both excited and nervous. Looking at Jason, she smiles, getting them into the building and then into the elevator. "I'm nervous," she admits. But it's clear by her tone that it's not a bad thing.

"We don't have to -- we don't have to do anything," Jason tells her, shaking his head. He wants to especially after everything earlier but they don't have to. He's never going to be one to force an issue like that. He's gone years and years without sex before so waiting a little longer for Beth isn't a bad thing.

"If you're not ready, we don't have to," Jason says, following her into her building and smiling gently. She's nervous and while it doesn't seem to be a bad set of nerves, he still wants to make sure she knows she has a choice, that she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do.

"We can just sit together," he adds. "Whatever you want."

"Nervous in a good way," she assures him, reaching for his hand when the elevator doors slide open again and she leads Jason into the hall and toward her apartment. "Excited? Both, I think, but it's a good thing."

She doesn't want to just sit with him. She doesn't think that's what he wants either. Beth has never once felt pressured with Jason and she knows that isn't going to change, she knows he's never going to ask her for things she's not ready for and that's part of what she likes so much about him. They've connected, they're close, and she trusts him. And she knows herself, she knows who and what she wants and who she trusts.

"C'mon," she says, unlocking the door and leading him inside.

"All right," Jason says, believing her. He doesn't think she thinks she has to do anything because he wants it. If they never slept together, he'd be happy. She's already given him so much more than he ever thought he'd deserve.

But, it seems like she wants to. Like this is her choice and while it's his too, he's infinitely glad to see that she's comfortable enough with him to want this.

So, he follows her inside without another word, eyes scanning the area to make sure they were alone because, well, nothing would happen if her family was home.

"We're alone," Beth promises the moment she's closed the door behind them. If Judith or Carl where in the apartment, she would know, she'd be able to hear them, because it's not like Carl is especially wild, but he's still a teenager. No one in this apartment is particularly quiet.

"Well, except for her," she says as Anthony trots into the room, a tiny black cat with big green eyes. Her tail swishes as she approaches, then she butts her head against Jason's shin, rubs against his leg, and disappears down the hall again.

"You can put your stuff down wherever," she tells him. "Then c'mere."

Jason doesn't hesitate. He settles the bags on the floor and piles a lot of the rock climbing gear on top of it. He makes a show of straightening everything, keeping it in its area so it doesn't make a mess or become an obstacle for anyone walking by.

And then he's moving closer to her, reaching out to slip his arms around her waist but stopping short of catching her mouth in a kiss. He pulls closer to her and looks down, smiles gently, shyly.

But, there's anticipation in his eyes too.

Beth slides her hands up Jason's arm and she invites herself to rise up onto her toes, pressing her mouth to his without another word. His skin is still salty from earlier and she flicks her tongue against his lower lip to taste him. A little shiver goes through her and she takes a step back, then another, leading Jason down the hall to her bedroom.

The apartment has seen so much of her life. Pain and laughter and all kinds of change. She'd considered going to Jason's, but when it had come down to the moment, she'd brought him here instead. It makes sense, she thinks. So much else has happened here.

The shiver that works its way through her seems to jump over to him too, growing stronger as she leads him to what he presumes has to be the bedroom. He swallows, a bundle of nerves making themselves known in his belly. It's not the kind that makes him want to stop things and turn away but the kind that hopes he's good enough.

He takes a few breaths, blows it out and tries to ignore the goosebumps on his arms and that prickle of energy in his veins. They'll get to things in due time. No need to rush.

"You okay?" she asks when he breathes deeply. She thinks he is, she thinks they're both more than okay, but it's important for her to make sure. To know this is something they both want.

Beth runs her hands down Jason's arms, trailing her fingers across his skin before they settle on his waist. They're still moving in the direction of the bedroom, but she doesn't kiss him again. Not until he lets her know this is all okay, he doesn't feel rushed or pressured.

That won't be fun for anyone and she wants this to be fun, something they both enjoy.

"I'm fine," Jason tells her steadily. "Really, I am. I promise."

He's going to be nervous and he's going to be anxious but not because they're moving towards actually sleeping with each other. He's nervous because he wants her to enjoy it and he hasn't wanted that with a partner in years. He smiles at her, bringing her hand up to kiss.

"It's been some time since I was with someone," he explains, "and I just want to make sure you enjoy yourself no matter what happens."

"It's okay," Beth says with a laugh. "I don't think you've got anything to worry about."

There's been no one else for her since Curtis. After Daryl she had done things she never expected, she'd slept with a near stranger, then with Chuck, wanting to lose herself in something other than what she remembered. This time she hadn't felt that same need.

She'd waited for Jason.

"I think you underestimate my ability to ruin things," Jason says but he does so lightly, a smile on his face. He knows that it will be very hard to ruin this since they both want it and she's hard to anger or frustrate anyway and he wouldn't be trying to do that especially here.

"I'm going to worry," he tells her, reaching for her hands, "but I still want this. I still want you."

"Me, too," she says as she backs them into her bedroom. While she has no doubt they'll be alone for awhile yet, she still closes the door, giving them more privacy just in case anyone does come home. The blinds are open, letting the light in, but gauzy curtains cover the windows, blocking them from view.

Her arms slip around Jason again and she rises up on her toes to kiss him, trying at the same time to kick off her shoes. He smells good and he tastes good and her hands roam up over the strong muscles of his back. He feels good, too.

She only wants more.

She comes closer to him and Jason wraps his arms around her, meeting her kiss with one of his own. It feels so different than anything else, anyone else, of course, but after so long without, it's just strange to be right on the cusp of something with someone he cares about so much.

He's so scared that he's going to wreck it so his hands are gentle, soft, like she's glass. Maybe, when he realizes that she is not, he'll be a little more assured but it's the firs time and things are tentative, slow.

They can work from that, though.

It takes a little more work to rid herself of her shoes than she'd like and she ends up laughing, having to reach down and untie the laces of one, breaking the kiss for a moment. But then her shoes are off and she's kissing Jason again, her hands pushing up under the material of his shirt. Where he's gentle, she's a little more aggressive, wanting to get his shirt off, wanting to get at his skin. She's not pushy, but she's not shy either.

Given everything, Beth's not sure she really knows how to be properly shy in the bedroom anymore.

"It's okay," she murmurs, grinning against his mouth. "I'm not gonna break."

Really, it's good that she's an aggressor because while he is in some areas of life, in other areas he's not. But, he's fairly certain that he can follow her lead. Hands in the air, he lets her pull his short off and once it's free, he sways forward and tries to capture her lips in a harder, firmer kiss.

It's still nothing too rough because he's going to have to build to that but it's more than he was giving, showing off the comfort he's feeling with her and the whole situation now.

She really loves kissing him. There have been times when she thought maybe they'd never get to a place like this, back when he had said so much at Magnus's party and had been so embarrassed by the admission. She'd wondered at herself, at him, at everything they clearly both felt, and she knows she's lucky they were able to overcome all that and get here.

She intends on not wasting it.

With his shirt off, her hands roam over his skin, fingers mapping out his muscles, the warmth of him. All the while she's moving them toward the bed, moving until the backs of her knees hit the mattress and she sits down suddenly, breaking the kiss with a laugh.

For the smallest of moments, he thinks she's tripped and his expression changes, pleasure morphing into worry before he realizes that she's just sat down and she's laughing.

"I thought you'd tripped," he admits, snickering a bit before putting one knee on the bed next to her hip.

"I thought you'd fallen and I was going to have to check you for injuries," he laughs. "That would have been an incredible mood killer."

"You can check me anyway," she teases with a grin, her hands moving to the waist of his pants, her fingers teasing along the edge of the material before she starts to undo them. Before she finishes, she changes her mind, reaching her hands down to take off her own top, tossing it somewhere into the corner before she scoots back on the bed a little, inviting Jason to follow her.

"Just in case I'm hurt," she says. "Might have to check me all over."

She just wants him touching her. Just wants to feel his hands on her, to know how much he wants this, too. She wants the weight of his body on top of her, the warmth of him. Everything.