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Apr. 19th, 2017 08:21 pmThings haven't exactly been easy as of late and Beth is running herself ragged.
It doesn't matter, she's going to do it no matter how exhausted she gets, no matter how dark the circles under her eyes become, because Carl and Judith are everything to her. There's already been a visit with the social worker after they were called when Carl was shot and no one is accusing Beth of anything, they've all been really supportive, but Carl isn't eighteen yet and Beth is still legally his guardian and something really awful has happened to him. They've asked her a few times if she thinks she needs any extra support, but she reads that as Judith being taken away from them and so she insists she's fine, she can do this, she has people who'll give her a hand.
But some of them aren't here anymore.
A few months ago, she would have called Kili and she knows he would have done anything to help her, he would have watched Judith any time she asked, but he's gone now. Every so often she reaches for her phone, thinking she'll text him, and she remembers all over again, the pain of that loss nearly crushing in the wake of everything else that's happened.
She's leaning heavily on Curtis. Too heavily maybe, but she doesn't know what else to do. She still needs to work and she can't afford to hire a sitter every time she does and so on some evenings when Curtis isn't working, she leaves him at the apartment with Judith, apologizing over and over, and trying to work out some way for her to fix this. Some way to be able to do everything.
Heading home this evening, a little later than usual, she considers maybe asking the social worker for help. Maybe they'll be able to find some inexpensive childcare for her, something that means she won't feel spread quite so thin, which means she'll be able to focus on helping Carl get better. She's considering this as she unlocks the apartment door, taking care to be quiet, because chances are Curtis already has Judith asleep.
Just inside the door, though, she stops. He has her asleep alright, but she's curled up nearly on top of him, wedged in the small space between the arm of the couch and his torso, her fingers curled in the material of his t-shirt. For a second she thinks he might be asleep, too, but then she sees his eyes are open in the dim light and she waves at him before quietly locking the door and coming into the room.
"What happened here?" she asks, her voice soft.
It doesn't matter, she's going to do it no matter how exhausted she gets, no matter how dark the circles under her eyes become, because Carl and Judith are everything to her. There's already been a visit with the social worker after they were called when Carl was shot and no one is accusing Beth of anything, they've all been really supportive, but Carl isn't eighteen yet and Beth is still legally his guardian and something really awful has happened to him. They've asked her a few times if she thinks she needs any extra support, but she reads that as Judith being taken away from them and so she insists she's fine, she can do this, she has people who'll give her a hand.
But some of them aren't here anymore.
A few months ago, she would have called Kili and she knows he would have done anything to help her, he would have watched Judith any time she asked, but he's gone now. Every so often she reaches for her phone, thinking she'll text him, and she remembers all over again, the pain of that loss nearly crushing in the wake of everything else that's happened.
She's leaning heavily on Curtis. Too heavily maybe, but she doesn't know what else to do. She still needs to work and she can't afford to hire a sitter every time she does and so on some evenings when Curtis isn't working, she leaves him at the apartment with Judith, apologizing over and over, and trying to work out some way for her to fix this. Some way to be able to do everything.
Heading home this evening, a little later than usual, she considers maybe asking the social worker for help. Maybe they'll be able to find some inexpensive childcare for her, something that means she won't feel spread quite so thin, which means she'll be able to focus on helping Carl get better. She's considering this as she unlocks the apartment door, taking care to be quiet, because chances are Curtis already has Judith asleep.
Just inside the door, though, she stops. He has her asleep alright, but she's curled up nearly on top of him, wedged in the small space between the arm of the couch and his torso, her fingers curled in the material of his t-shirt. For a second she thinks he might be asleep, too, but then she sees his eyes are open in the dim light and she waves at him before quietly locking the door and coming into the room.
"What happened here?" she asks, her voice soft.
