Beth Greene

They've just been to see Curtis, not for a long visit, but long enough for Judith to climb into his lap several times, trying to get him to come home and draw with her. Even after having it explained to her that he needs to work this evening -- which she understands now, sometimes Beth can't believe just how grown up she's gotten -- she'd begged a few more times before Beth had laughed and scooped her up, then kissed Curtis and headed for the door.

They hadn't gotten far before Judith had squirmed out of Beth's hold, run back to Curtis and demanded a kiss of her own and Beth had watched with a grin before finally getting the little girl into the elevator where she had immediately pressed the button for the next floor up.

They're supposed to be headed home, but now that Judith has changed the direction of the elevator, Beth doesn't see why they shouldn't head up to see if Nate is home. She hasn't seen him for a little while and she figures he's just been busy, which she has been, too, and she can hardly fault him for it. But still, he's Nate, and he's important to her. It doesn't take much time out of her day to stop by and Judith isn't even close to ready to settle in for the evening so it'll be good for her to expend just a little bit more energy.

What she doesn't expect at all, as she reaches Nate's door with Judith holding her hand, is for a tall, gorgeous woman to step out of his apartment. Beth sees the woman roll her eyes, but it's fond, and then she shuts the door behind her, stopping only when she realizes there's someone else standing there, too. She's beautiful and even just looking at her for five seconds, Beth can feel her confidence and she suddenly feels like a little kid. Holding the hand of an even littler kid.

"Uh... hi," she says. "Is Nate at home?"

The woman's eyebrow lifts and she glances down at Judith, then back at Beth. "Yeah, sunshine, he's at home. You might want to give him a minute, though."

"Why- oh." Beth flushes and the woman laughs, though the sound isn't completely unkind. She's looking at Beth almost as if she's familiar and for a second she thinks she might say something, but then she's walking down the hall, headed for the elevator. Beth turns to watch her go, then realizes most people probably do the same thing, and flushes deeper as she turns back to face Nate's apartment.

What he does is completely his business, but she has to wonder if that's why she hasn't seen much of him lately. If maybe he's got a girlfriend and hasn't told her about it.

As Judith grows agitated and bored, Beth counts to sixty in her head, then does it again before she finally goes to knock on Nate's door. Quickly, realizing he might think it's his friend coming back, she calls out, "It's not your girlfriend! It's Beth."

So he better come to the door with his clothes on.

Lately things are a little more weird than Beth really wants to dwell on for long.

The thing is, she can't not dwell on it. It's like it's the only thing she's able to think about when she lays down at night and closes her eyes and tries to get to sleep. The worst part about it all is that she feels so selfish, because the person she would talk to about it usually, the person she would trust most to help her has so much of his own going on right now that she doesn't want to bother him with it. Kili is newly married and he's only just lost his brother, which is awful. So deeply awful. Beth feels for him and tries to be there for him as best she can, which means not burdening him with any of the stuff going on in her head right now.

Because the thing is, she can't really keep lying to herself and pretending she doesn't have more than just friendly feelings for Curtis. Which in itself fills her with guilt, like she's doing something wrong. Daryl was gone and now he's back and there's a part of her that thinks it's expected they'll eventually get back together, but she thinks about it and it makes her chest tight in a way that all but steals her ability to breathe.

She loves him, but he isn't the same person. He's not the man she was engaged to.

But she can't stop the guilt. It's so damn confusing and complicated. Half the time she feels like she's going to throw up and she doesn't know who to talk to.

Which is probably why Nate is going to regret agreeing to meet her for coffee today. She needs to tell someone, she needs someone else to hear everything she's feeling and thinking, and normally that would be Kili, but she just can't do that to him right now. He needs to mourn and to heal, not carry her burdens, too. So she's waiting for Nate at the coffee shop she likes best, nervously twisting her fingers and glancing up every so often, hoping he'll be here soon.