[november 13]

It's certainly strange, the city being so empty, there's no denying that, but Beth has been distracted lately and besides the fact that she can't go to class anymore, she has no job, and she's been spending a lot of time out in the woods with Daryl and his crossbow, nothing has really changed. Which makes it seem like everything has changed and maybe it has, but so much of Beth's thought process lately has been focused internally.

That's not like her. It's not that she doesn't think about herself very often, it's just that she tends to think about other people a lot, too. She worries about the others in the city, she spends a lot of her time focused on Carl and Daryl and Michonne, now she worries about Rick and Judith. There are the friends she's made, too, the people she thinks about, those she goes out of her way to see just to make sure they're having a good day. It's what she does.

But lately she's only been able to think about herself. And Chuck. And Daryl.

She likes Chuck a lot and he's a good boyfriend. He's sweet to her and she has fun when she's with him. She likes him so much, more than she ever liked Jimmy. But she's in love with Daryl.

She'd realized it out there with him in the woods that day, when he had said she wouldn't need him. Beth has never needed anyone the way she needs Daryl and it terrifies her. The only thing she wants is to see Maggie, to wrap herself up in her sister's arms and tell her everything, but Maggie isn't here and so, quietly and separately, Beth texts the two people she thinks she'll be able to talk to about this. She asks Olive if she can come by and asks Michonne to meet her in the park later.

Palms sweaty, her gun holstered at her hip, she heads out into the quiet city to admit something she never imagined herself saying.