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[november 21]
Nov. 10th, 2015 03:59 pmShe's been back for awhile now.
The first thing she'd done upon arriving home, the very first thing before climbing into the shower and standing under the scalding hot spray for nearly an hour, scrubbing ash and dirt from her hair and skin and under her nails, was send Kili a text message. It hadn't been much, just two words and a little cat emoji, but she had known he would be worried, that he'd be looking for her. Just like he hadn't given up hope with his brother, she knows he wouldn't give up hope for her.
I'm okay. Two words and a little smiling cat face, enough to let him know she really is okay.
Because she is. She's okay. Rick and Michonne are still gone, but she knows Carl and Judith are here and safe. They'll have to track them down, figure things out, and maybe she should be angry with him for having made them worry like this, but she can't find it in her to be mad when she's just grateful they're still around. They've seen and done awful things over the past several weeks, they've been through some of the worst Darrow has ever thrown at anyone, she thinks, but they're here on the other side of it. And they're okay.
Daryl isn't quite as okay, but that's okay, too. He'll get there, she believes he will. There's a ring on her finger, nothing flashy, nothing sparkly or glittery, but something that glows, soft and gentle. That ring is for her from him and she hasn't told anyone yet, but when she looks down at it, it makes her smile. Because they're going to get married and they're going to keep pressing forward and they will be okay.
Tonight, though, she needs a break. She doesn't have to work tomorrow and she doesn't have class for a little while, so she kisses Daryl and asks him if he'll be alright and when he insists he will be, she packs a small bag and heads for Kili's apartment. A little over two weeks ago she drew her knife and stabbed it through the skull of her own head. She'd had to kill herself to kill the fear that she really is nothing more than dead weight, she'd had to fight off the belief that maybe, just maybe, her suicide would have been preferable.
It had been awful and upsetting, but it had also been necessary. Now she's home and she's going to go spend the night with her best friend and as she knocks on his door, she finds she's smiling.
The first thing she'd done upon arriving home, the very first thing before climbing into the shower and standing under the scalding hot spray for nearly an hour, scrubbing ash and dirt from her hair and skin and under her nails, was send Kili a text message. It hadn't been much, just two words and a little cat emoji, but she had known he would be worried, that he'd be looking for her. Just like he hadn't given up hope with his brother, she knows he wouldn't give up hope for her.
I'm okay. Two words and a little smiling cat face, enough to let him know she really is okay.
Because she is. She's okay. Rick and Michonne are still gone, but she knows Carl and Judith are here and safe. They'll have to track them down, figure things out, and maybe she should be angry with him for having made them worry like this, but she can't find it in her to be mad when she's just grateful they're still around. They've seen and done awful things over the past several weeks, they've been through some of the worst Darrow has ever thrown at anyone, she thinks, but they're here on the other side of it. And they're okay.
Daryl isn't quite as okay, but that's okay, too. He'll get there, she believes he will. There's a ring on her finger, nothing flashy, nothing sparkly or glittery, but something that glows, soft and gentle. That ring is for her from him and she hasn't told anyone yet, but when she looks down at it, it makes her smile. Because they're going to get married and they're going to keep pressing forward and they will be okay.
Tonight, though, she needs a break. She doesn't have to work tomorrow and she doesn't have class for a little while, so she kisses Daryl and asks him if he'll be alright and when he insists he will be, she packs a small bag and heads for Kili's apartment. A little over two weeks ago she drew her knife and stabbed it through the skull of her own head. She'd had to kill herself to kill the fear that she really is nothing more than dead weight, she'd had to fight off the belief that maybe, just maybe, her suicide would have been preferable.
It had been awful and upsetting, but it had also been necessary. Now she's home and she's going to go spend the night with her best friend and as she knocks on his door, she finds she's smiling.
