[december 9]

For a week now, Beth sort of feels a little bit like she's been floating along and she knows that's a cliché, but somehow that doesn't make it feel any less like that. School is out, which is a relief, because she knows she wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway and she's not going back next semester, which is scary and exhilarating all the same time. Her intention had been to use the weeks just before Christmas to start looking for people who might want to be in her band, but she's been just a little bit distracted.

That she figures she can blame on Curtis.

It's sort of a wonder she hasn't run into Yona before this, but she hasn't exactly been here every single night. There's still Carl and Judith to consider, so she's still spending some nights at home even if there's a big, much less responsible part of her that wants nothing more than to be with Curtis. They have time, though, and he'd talked about needing to figure out how to do this, wanting to figure it out with her, so she doesn't want to hurry him into anything.

This is good. This more than just good.

But she has the early shift at the store today, so she's out of his bedroom, walking softly through the apartment and toward the kitchen to make some coffee before she leaves when she realizes Yona is already there.

"Oh," she says, surprised. Then she grins, flushing a deep pink at the same time. "I mean, hi."

[december 16]

It's two weeks before Beth realizes she has to sort of break up with Chuck again.

Nothing about this situation is the same, she knows that, and she's pretty sure Chuck isn't going to react to this with anything but good humour, so she's really more amused than she is genuinely nervous, but even so there's a little part of her that wonders. Over two years ago, she'd ended a relationship with Chuck to be with someone else, and now she's not even with that someone else anymore. Instead there's been an engagement, a disappearance, a reappearance, and then this. What she and Chuck have been doing.

And it's been fun. Caring for Chuck has always been easy and they've settled into this thing that isn't dating, that's really only having sex once in awhile and actually just being friends beyond that and she's had fun, but it's time for it to end. Not the friendship part, she really wants to keep that and she's pretty sure it won't be a problem this time, but they can't sleep together anymore.

So she texts him, asks him to come out and meet her for coffee because she thinks if she asks to come to his place, he might think she's coming over for one specific reason. The one reason she can't come over any longer.

[december 18]

When Beth finally realizes Daryl is gone again, she becomes aware of something else at the same time, something that says a lot about her and they aren't things she particularly likes. It's Friday when she tries to get in touch with him and can't, Saturday when she goes to his apartment looking for him, Sunday when she accepts he's really gone for a second time and at the same time comes to understand she doesn't actually know how long he's been gone.

Since she and Curtis slept together that first night, she's been avoiding him. That's weeks ago now, weeks in which she'd had pretty much no contact at all with Daryl, not wanting to have to explain she's with someone now, someone she cares about a lot. If she'd seen him, she probably wouldn't have even said anything, kept the information to herself out of fear of what kinds of complications it might bring and so choosing to not see him instead had given her the grace to feel a little bit better about herself.

Now she feels awful.

This is a conversation she'll have to have with Carl again, but she finds herself going to Curtis first. There's a sense of sadness as she walks to his place, but there's a larger part of her that feels disconnected and even a little bit of relief.

She texts Curtis when she gets there. Come downstairs. Yona might be in the apartment and Beth adores her, but she doesn't want to see her right now. She only wants to see Curtis.